Below is a list of resources I have used to pursue personal growth at different times of my life, leading to the lasting happiness I now enjoy. It is important to note that the order is not really important and in fact this is a list of the steps I took given my specific needs and personality. It could be different for each of us. I took most of these programs in Ottawa, Canada but I hope programs like them are offered elsewhere in the world, too.
I have included the phone numbers or websites of each as a reference in case one of these ideas seem right to you at this time.
1. 1991 - Multiple Loss Support Group at the Unitarian Church lead by Joan Auden, MSW. This program helped me to realize that I was not alone in grieving the death of many people in a short time.
2. 1996 - Bereaved Families of Ontario – Participated in a young widow’s support program and enrolled my children in a program for kids coping with the loss of a parent.
3. 1995 and 1996 - Hospice at May Court (All Saints) offered wonderful support to me as a primary caregiver before and after John’s death.(613) 260-2906
4. 2001 – Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction Program (MBSR) with Melodie Benger. Eight week program of calming and meditation based on Jon Kabat-Zinn’s Full Catastrophe Living. www.ottawamindfulness.ca
5. 2003 to present – Attended Al-Anon meetings. It is a 12-step program for people affected by other people’s drinking, based on AA’s 12 steps. I focused on the Serenity Prayer (see below), slogans and developing a trusting relationship with a Higher Power. www.al-anon-ottawa.ca, (613) 860-3431.
6. 2004 – Serenity Renewal for Families – New Beginnings program. This was a 4 day recovery program which helped me to feel hope at a deeper level. www.serenityrenewal.ca, (613) 523-5143
7. 2004 to 2009 - Amanae Sessions. This is a deep tissue emotional release bodywork technique by Victoria Butow. www.frequenciesofbrilliance.com, 1-(267) 337-2729.
8. 2004 – Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction program (MBSR) at the Bronson Centre with Dr. Steven Hicks. ‘Stress is a choice’ is what I took away from this program. www.mbsrottawa.psiottawa.com.
9. 2004 – Rideauwood’s ‘Family Program’. A great program for people affected by another person’s drug or alcohol use. www.rideauwood.org, (613) 724-4881.
10. 2005 – Took a six-week group therapy course, which followed the book The Grief Recovery Handbook by John W. James and Russell Friedman. An excellent approach to processing losses.
12. 2006 – Camillus Centre in Elliot Lake, Ontario. Twelve day residential Family Program for people affected by other people’s addictions. Call (705) 848-2652 and inquire about the Family/Co-dependency program.
13. 2007 to present – volunteer as an ‘Adult Child’ at the Royal Ottawa Mental Health Centre, Substance Use and Concurrent Disorders Program. www.theroyal.ca and click on ‘Substance Use and Concurrent Disorders’.
14. 2007 – Participated in a Catholic Cursillo weekend, which dramatically deepened my trust in a Higher Power. www.ottawacursillo.ca.
15. 2008 – Rideauwood’s ‘Family of Origin Program’. Highly recommended for adults who came from a dysfunctional background and wants to work on their continuing issues. www.rideauwood.org , (613) 724-4881.
16. 2009 – Worked on a team for a Cursillo weekend, helping to pass onto others the message of faith, hope and love. www.ottawacursillo.ca.
My Recommended Reading List:
- 1. Adult Children of Alcoholics, Janet Geringer Woititz
- 2. Healing the Shame That Binds You, John Bradshaw
- 3. Necessary Losses, Judith Viorst
- 4. Full Catastrophe Living, Jon Kabat-Zinn, Ph. D.
- 5. The Grief Recovery Handbook, John W. James and Russell Friedman
- 6. Journey to the Heart, Melodie Beattie
Serenity Prayer
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
Acceptance
Is the answer to all my problems today.
When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation – some fact of my life – unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment.
Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God’s world by mistake…. Unless I accept life completely on life’s terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes.